Re-Inventing the Swimsuit

6 Apr

Despite all the rain and cold we are having, I still believe that Spring is coming and behind it—SUMMER!

My mailbox has started to fill up with clothing catalogs all advertising the latest and greatest in swimwear. They have suits that will instantly make me look 10 lbs thinner by pushing up the boobs, sucking in the stomach and tucking in the bum. That’s great, except I’m not really worried about those areas.

Oh sure, my décolletage will be more attractive if it’s perky. Who doesn’t want a flat stomach? But on my best-I-didn’t-eat-pasta-last-night-days, I can suck it in with the rest of them. And as for my derrière, well, I have a motto: If I can’t see it, then it doesn’t really bother me. 

But here’s what all those swimsuits lack: something to hold the floppy arms still and something to take care of the pale skin that hasn’t seen sun in months.

That’s why I think it would be brilliant for someone to invent the swimsuit that has the same nude body  material dancers costumes have when they want it to appear like they are exposing bare skin. It holds things in and makes them look tan all in one swoop.

So swimsuit makers of the world go for it! Just make sure I get a cut of the profits and you send me free swimsuits for life.

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